Download informative senior living resources for yourself or a loved one

Continuing Care retirement communities (CCRCs) are retirement communities that offer a wide range of care options for residents, depending on the level of need. Residents have options for independent living, assisted living, and nursing home care. At Applewood, residents have access to around-the-clock care by our skilled nursing team of healthcare professionals.

Deciding to move your parents from their home to a retirement community is one of the most difficult decisions a son or daughter can make. It’s not a decision to be made overnight, but one that must be carefully approached.
Start the process by first asking yourself these questions.
Are your parents…

1. Beginning to have trouble with their daily tasks?
2. Beginning to have difficulty with movement, balance, and general mobility?
3. Having trouble or experiencing uncertainty or confusion tasks that should be familiar?

There are many more indicators, but if your family member can identify with either of these three issues, then it may be time to consider that a continuing care retirement community may be right for them. In other cases, things may not be as black and white as a parent experiencing movement or memory problems, but if you are concerned about whether or not your parents have the physical ability to take care of themselves then it may be time to consider a continuing care retirement community. This is especially true if your mother or father lives in a remote area, and may have problems not being able to receive immediate assistance in the event of an emergency.

The choice between Independent Living and Assisted Living largely comes down to the ability an individual has to accomplish their daily tasks without assistance. This may include preparing meals, personal hygiene, cleaning, driving/transportation, managing personal finances, or a medication routine. Parents experiencing difficulty with daily tasks may find that assisted living is right for them. Alternatively, independent living is ideal for individuals who would like having access to assistance if needed. At Applewood, residents may choose to live an independent lifestyle but can count on having the regular support they need, or choose from one of the independent living options and move along the continuum of care as the time comes.

If an individual under your care is experiencing any of the following, then an Assisted Living community may be the best way to provide the care they need without taking away their independence. If you are seeing the following signs on a reoccurring basis, it may be beneficial to look into Assisted Living:

• Spoiled food that should be thrown away
• History of missing appointments
• Difficulty getting up from a seated position
• Difficulty walking, with balance, and mobility
• Confusion or uncertainty with once-familiar tasks
• General forgetfulness
• Poor hygiene
• Strong smell of urine in home
• Dirty, cluttered house
• Increasingly unopened mail
• Late payments or bounced checks
• Poor diet or weight loss
• Loss of interest in hobbies or usual activities
• Extreme mood swings or changes in mood
• Forgetfulness of medications
• Taking incorrect doses of medications
• Unexplained bruises or injuries
• Unexplained damage to vehicle or belongings

If your parents are having difficulty accomplishing daily tasks then an assisted living facility may be best for them. If you decide that it is time to consider assisted living for your loved one, then start by getting your family and siblings involved. This is a family matter, and should be approached together.
The next step is to determine what you can afford. Assisted living can offer tremendous value to residents when compared to receiving care at home. When you’ve found a community that’s right for your family member, contact an advisor or someone who can help determine what needs your family member have — medical or otherwise. If the community can accommodate your family member, then take a tour of it. It’s important that your parents feel comfortable with their new home as this can be a major life changing decision for them.
As a family, you’ll need to come to a decision about what to do, with your parent’s mental and physical health as a primary signal to what decision you should make. Remember, many continuing care facilities offer a continuum of care, allowing for the level of care to be adjusted as the need demands it. Once a proper plan is determined, the move can be made.

Recognizing that your parents require continuing care is challenging, but if you determine that your loved one would be better in a CCRC, the first step is to prepare for the conversation. While it can be difficult to discuss where, when and how your family member will spend the last years of life, it’s important to discuss care, financial, and legal matters before a crisis can occur
Start by collecting your thoughts, whether on paper or even having a practice conversation with your family members before talking to your parents. It may help to determine a list of topics that you’d like to discuss with your family member, which can help to keep you focused and able to overcome any objections your parents may have. The decision to move to a continuing care retirement community isn’t one to be made overnight, so don’t expect instant results. Instead, prepare for it to be a discussion managed over time. You may find that inviting your parents to tour different senior living communities, and even to take part in social events, can help sway even the most stubborn mind. It may also help your parents come to terms with the situation by discussing how their own parents were cared for in their later years, and what they would have done differently. Finally, don’t let your parents feel like they don’t have a voice in this conversation. Ask what their own care preferences are, and make sure that they are heard.
The most important aspect of this conversation is to not be hasty, and to take the time to convey your concerns. Today seniors have a wide range of living options to choose from, and having an open dialogue with them will help to narrow down what is right for your parents as they age.

Many adult children find it difficult to convince their parents that they no longer can maintain their diet, housing, health, and many other important issues. Every situation is different, but if you find yourself with parents that are resisting assisted or independent living, the following strategies may be of assistance to you.

• Try to understand the reasons for their behavior. Are they depressed? Are they confused? Are they afraid of moving out of their home? The more that you can relate to how they feel the more you’ll be able to communicate why this decision is good for them by addressing each individual emotional challenge.

• Determine how important the concern is. Is your loved one putting themselves at risk by not being in a continuing care community? Are you trying to put your own concerns at peace? Your mother or father may not be willing to change for themselves, but they may for you or your children and acknowledging the realistic need for assisted or independent living can spur the conversation, as it allows you to put the biggest concerns first.

• Think ahead. Is there something they want to be around for such as a graduation, anniversary, wedding, or other event? If so, talk about it! Making sure that your parents know that you’re thinking about their wants and needs can help to prevent them from feeling like you just want to force them into a home.

• Treat them like adults. Your parents may be stubborn, but they aren’t children, so don’t treat them like they are. Infantilizing your parents can make them feel marginalized, and that their concerns aren’t being fully addressed.

• Understand the situation. You may want to think that your parents will listen to you, but it can be tough for them. As they say, “you can take a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink”. Even by expressing your concerns and addressing theirs, your parents may still not make the choice you want them to make.

• Don’t beat yourself up. At the end of the day, you may not be able to convince your parents that it’s time, and it may lead to an tense situation, but the fact is that they will likely choose to do what they want. The best you can do is try to make them see why this may be a good idea, and respect their decision if they don’t agree.

This can be a very tough step, but the most important thing is to ask questions with any prospective community to make sure that it suits your family member’s needs. If they’re not comfortable, happy, and well taken care of, then the facility may not be right for them. As you begin your search for different continuing care communities, we recommend to keep these questions in mind.
Download a copy of our Senior Living Guidefor more information in helping your parents decide on a facility that’s right for them.

• What is the staff-to-resident ratio?
• What training and experience does the staff have?
• How many staff members are on duty overnight?
• Can staff administer medications?
• Is there a 24/7 staff nurse?
• Is there an initial assessment prior to admission?
• What types of floorplans are available?
• What monthly costs are there?
• Are all services included in monthly fees?
• If there is a wait list, how many are on it and what is the policy?
• What sort of additional services are available if the needs of the resident changes?
• What is the discharge policy?
• What are current residents like?
• Are there outdoor spaces?
• What sort of social events are offered?

Determining what to bring and what to leave behind when your loved one moves to an independent or assisted living home is tough. It’s very easy to want to bring everything that may fit, but that can lead to clutter and space is usually very limited. Be sure to visit the new space before moving to be sure that there is enough room to accommodate all of your loved one’s belongings. As packing begins, put a focus on smaller items that will be used every day. Typically, your family member will use the same items that they use now. It can also be very tempting for adult children to want to make sure that their parents take all the ‘best’ furniture, household items, etc, from a parent’s home. Many adult children are even tempted to purchase new replacement furniture or items. But it’s important to keep in mind that many older adults prefer what is comfortable and familiar to them. Be sure to speak to your loved ones about their preference, and keep in mind that while not everything can come, the things that make them comfortable or are familiar to them should. It is best to speak to the community about what can be brought from home, but generally the following list of supplies is enough to make sure that your family member has everything that they need.

Furniture:

• Bed – either rent a comfortable hospital bed (if needed) or use one with a familiar mattress
• Nightstand – for organization, as well as a nice place for a lamp
• Seating – small sofa, a chair with arms, or a rocker are best. Avoid chairs on casters.
• Shelving – something with drawers for extra storage space.
• Table – look for a small kitchen table, as standard dining tables will likely be too large.
• Dresser – It’s frequently easier for seniors to store their belongings in a closet with extra storage rather than hanging everything. As such, a large dresser can provide plenty of space.

Kitchenware:

• Dishes & glasses for everyday use – probably only settings for 6 people
• Pots & Pans  – large and small pots and pans with a frying pan may be sufficient.
• Coffeemaker
• Nice serving dish – if there will be entertaining purposes, or if your family member simply loves cooking
• Trashcan(s)

Personal Items:

• Shoes & Non skid slippers
• Toiletries
• Medications & instructions
• A file for medical, legal, and financial paperwork
• Photographs for display or in books – we recommend digitizing large galleries
• Heirlooms or mementos that will provide a sense of home
• A small safe for important items, though it’s recommended to leave items that aren’t frequently used elsewhere.

Clothing:

This is important to narrow down. Too many clothes will reduce storage space, and likely won’t get worn. Ensure the following are brought, and be careful about over-packing.

• Pajamas
• A Robe
• Bathing suit if necessary
• Sweaters
• Nice outfits for socializing
• At least two weeks of underwear and socks

Cleaning Supplies:

• Dish soap
• Bleach wipes
• Window cleaner
• Bathroom cleaner
• Laundry detergent
• Dusting cloth

Decorations:

• Paintings or photographs
• Curtains, though blinds are generally provided
• Lamps & lightbulbs
• Clocks
• Vases
• Frames

Entertainment:

If you are providing electronics for your family member, be sure that they know how to operate it so that valuable space isn’t being taken up

• Television
• Stereo
• Computer
• Hobby Supplies (needlework, painting, craft supplies, books, etc)

It’s important to become familiar with the size of the new living space, as it’s very easy to over pack. It’s very tempting to want to bring a number of different items, but space will likely be limited. It’s better to take only what you’ll need. With that in mind, leave the following at home:

• Lots of collectibles & trinkets
• Throw rugs or area rugs
• Wheeled chairs
• Seldom-worn jewelry
• Multiples of items like mugs, appliances, robes, coats, purses or handbags, etc
• Large-scale furniture
• Boxes of items for storage

If items aren’t being frequently used then it’s best to leave them at home, as they’ll only take up valuable space, and will likely not be used

Try to gain a full understanding of who and how they will be interacting with your family member. You may have read through in the contract signed upon move-in, but it may still not be clear to you who is responsible for what, and who that person is. It’s very likely that you, who are moving a senior into a home for the first time, will not be able to identify what the role of an individual is at the home, but by engaging with the staff you will be able to quickly identify who will be crucial to the care of your family member. Be sure to take the time to identify a primary liaison who will act as your “point person” in the community. It may be easier to identify this person by asking for an organizational chart, or even job descriptions of the staff. This works both ways though. It is just as important for you to identify a point person on their staff as it is for the staff to identify a point person within your family, as well as a backup in case of an emergency.

Any move for an older adult can be initially difficult for the resident and family alike. It’s much easier if there has been buy-in from both parties from the start, but for many adults this next chapter of life can be very difficult. It can be a very stressful process for both the caregiver and the family member. In other instances, older adults may be looking forward to this next step in life, as they may see it as a chance to meet new people and do new things in a maintenance free environment.
Regardless of your parents’ demeanor, it’s important to focus on making the transition as easy for your loved one as possible. It may be tough for them to adjust to their new surroundings and new routines, even if they’re looking forward to the change. Your parents may find that the first few months are the most difficult, but they’ll find that ongoing communication with you will help significantly in their adjustment process. Other tips to help your parents adjust to their new settings are:

• Make it easy to continue a hobby or established routine. Your parents will find it easier to adjust if the habits they’ve built over a lifetime are carried into their new home. For instance, if your father starts the day off with the newspaper every morning, then be sure to forward the newspaper to their new address.

• Keep communication open. Speaking to your parents frequently, and encouraging other family members to as well, can be a great way to make them feel as though they’re not forgotten about, and that they’re being well taken care of.

• Visit regularly. There’s no more convincing way to show that you care about your parents than taking time to spend with them. You can go alone or bring the full family, or even bring one of your family member’s old friends or neighbors so that they can keep those bonds strong. Encourage your parents to partake in activities, and occasionally join them for these activities.

• Encourage your loved ones to maintain ties to familiar surroundings and activities. If your dad wants to be taken to see his old home, or your mother wants to visit her old hairdresser then encourage them to do so. Opportunities for your parents to reminisce can be very positive and beneficial on their psyche.

• Encourage your loved one to socialize with other residents. It can be very lonely to move into a new place, which will leave a heavy mental toll on your loved one. Encouraging them to actively engage with those around them, even make friends or acquaintances will help make a new home feel familiar.